If you tend to say “everything is fine” at work and sweep things under the rug, you may be “shining.”
Glossing is a form of toxic addiction – in which people suppress and deny their negative emotions – and it can hold you back.
Leena Rinne, Skillsoft’s global head of training, told Business Insider that there are many reasons for “glossing” to happen in the workplace, but it tends to happen during stressful times of change and when people want to “fly under the radar.”
“I think it’s a natural reaction to anxiety or fear,” Rinne said.
A Leadership IQ survey of 27,048 managers, executives and employees last year found that only 15% of employees think their employer always shares their problems, and 21% say they believe their organization you have never led difficult times.
A survey conducted by the journal Science of People in June and answered by hundreds of readers also found that almost 68% of respondents believe that they have had a toxic poisoning in the past week.
Rinne says this behavior is often emphasized to employees from the top down, and managers and their reports will “glow” for various reasons.
“Leaders create culture,” Rinne said. “If I show up in a meeting with a big attitude and my leader is like, ‘Hello everybody,’ and I’m just wearing glasses, then the signal to me is that that’s what we need to do here.”
Leaders have their heads down and employees are nervous, creating “a perfect storm for people to come out cautiously,” Rinne said.
When workers are protected, everyone loses, Rinne said.
“I’m not willing to analyze problems for a better solution. I don’t want to take risks and be innovative,” he said. “So I think senior leaders and all leaders should be concerned about this.”
Friendships at work are fading
Few people make friends at work. Some even think that office camaraderie is dead as remote working has become the norm, and layoffs have swept across many industries.
While some believe it’s beneficial, others think that those relationships are important for our mental health – especially to combat loneliness.
Rinne says this has created a culture where employees believe they are treated equally and show up for work and little else, which has made flashing more common.
People don’t want to bring their full selves, or even their best selves, to work because they feel too insecure that they’ll be there for the long haul.
“There’s a reason why we show up this way at work, and I think that senior leaders in particular need to take a hard look at what we’re creating, and how we’re motivating people to show up.” this way?” Rinne said. “Because it’s not random, it’s not lazy.”
It’s not rocket science
Rinne says other signs of open employees are that people don’t talk about difficult issues at all or only talk behind their boss’s back. They may not be turning on their cameras for remote meetings.
If that happens, leaders need to examine themselves, Rinne said, and ask themselves if they’ve been shining.
The negative effects of toxic light can manifest as tired workers who feel stressed and embarrassed, feel guilty and isolated, and call in sick more often. It can even cause employees to take longer vacations due to mental impairment.
Addressing the problem isn’t rocket science, however, Rinne said.
When a company goes through a tough quarter, executives may be tempted to say it because it’s not entirely good news, and they want to maintain morale. But Rinne said managers need to step back and appreciate the tough times.
“Hey, we’re in a time of chaos, and chaos is hard,” he said. “We know it’s hard, and we’re so grateful that you’re on this journey with us. There’s no one we’d rather be with than you.”
Rinne said executives don’t have to take responsibility for the entire company. They can create their own “culture bubble” for their teams.
“It could be bananas out there,” he said. “Because of that, no matter what, I can create a small culture in a big culture of silence – people who feel seen, people who feel heard, people who feel focused.”
One manager Rinne worked with said they started meetings by having everyone stand and stretch for 60 seconds.
“It’s not time at all,” Rinne said. “And everyone shows up differently for the meeting.”
Giving bad news
This skill is elusive to many leaders, however, Rinne added, and many could benefit from coaching to help them navigate difficult conversations. Some go the other way too far and speak out when problems arise.
“Hearing from a leader how difficult the transition is going to be,” Rinne said. “There’s a way to plan that reduces anxiety, and there’s a way to organize it that probably increases it.”
Leaders should be taught the skills to be transparent in a way that makes a person trustworthy, “not transparent in a way that scares people,” he said.
Finally, people appreciate honesty, even when the news isn’t entirely good.
Rinne said employees would rather not be surprised when layoffs or restructuring are announced to disrupt their team. If they are not kept in the dark, they are more likely to combine after the incubation period.
“You get more when people feel safe and feel cared for than when they punch that clock and shine for hours,” Rinne said.